We know quite a bit, actually. Thanks for asking. Knowledge and good taste are not the same thing as creativity, and you can have one without the other (for example, Stephenie Meyer is creative, but knows little about writing and literature.) You needn't be a chef to know what food you like, you needn't own a dog to think that they are cute, and you needn't be a bestselling author to tell good literature from bad. Most antis read a great deal, in various genres, and can tell a good book by reading it. We've read good bestsellers and know that there is more to a good book than sparklez and vampire lust. Whether or not we are writers, we are readers, which is quite sufficient. Also, many antis are writers, who might have published bestsellers if it weren't for the fact that good publishing companies often require multiple revisions of a manuscript before publishing anything. This process of revision and editing often takes months, if not years. Why Little, Brown published Smeyer's shittastic wet dream almost immediately is beyond any of us. Just goes to show how low Little, Brown's standards are. They've fallen miles after Catcher in the Rye.

Among the things that our experience of good literature, either as readers or as writers, has taught us, are:

  • Purple prose does not make a good novel. It's unnecessary, and more often than not ruins the book. Maybe if Smeyer hadn't raped her thesaurus so much, maybe the series wouldn't be mocked quite as much. Maybe.
  • Proper grammar is important. That's why she should have hired a Grammar Nazi editor (or any editor).
  • Characterization is essential. If the only thing a reader can say to describe you characters is "OMG, S/HEZ SO HAWTT!!!!!11!!1", then you're doing it wrong. Flaws are a part of good characterization. Are you writing any of this down, Smeyer?
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    Better than Twilight

  • Research is required if you're going to set your story in the real world. If you expect people to believe that there are sparkly vampires in a town that they may have been to, your details on the real world have to be perfect. Research is also a great way to ensure that you don't piss off a group of natives by completely retconning their history.

Besides, the only reason Twilight became a bestseller in the first place is because it's wish-fulfillment/escapism that girls can use to avoid dealing with their real lives, and because the idiotic, purple-prose laden descriptions of Edward are excellent masturbatory material for teenage females (and sometimes their mothers). Or maybe people just burned them.

P.S. HAV U RITTEN A BSTSELLR ETHR?!1?!1!?/1!1//?!! We didn't think so. So stop making accusations with holes big enough for 20 Boeing 747's to fly though.

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