Fangirls are quick to excuse the glaring scientific and logical inconsistencies in the Twilight series with the statement; "It's fantasy! It doesn't have to be realistic!" However, every story, including fantasy, must maintain internal consistency. If an author claims that none of her vampires can have children, then this should hold true in all of her books. If an author states something that has a scientific basis, then the facts of science should support this claim.


"Whatever the mechanism, the purpose of the venom is usually to immobilize the victim and start the process of digestion, much as human saliva does. In general, neurotoxins act more rapidly than hemotoxins and may be more serious." Giving the victim two additional chromosomes fulfills neither of these purposes. Venom is not a substance that contains genetic material.
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Dan Bergstein illustrates SMeyer Science

Then there is the question of how venom would be able to change the genetic makeup of its victim so drastically.

Stephenie Meyer has stated that in the process of being transformed into a vampire, a person gains two extra chromosomes. This makes no logical or scientific sense whatsoever, as extra chromosomes lead to a number of health issues (usually involving severe birth defects and a bad prognosis).

Humans usually have 23 pairs of chromosomes, with two copies of each chromosome in the nucleus of every cell. This means that vampire venom would have to visit every cell in the body and add vampiric DNA.

Also, to one who can process the facts, if there were genetic material in vampire "venom", and if it did infect every cell in one's body, then any female bitten by a meyerpire within a few days of ovulation would die, since any mature egg would be fertilized by the venom and would become a fetus, killing the mother.

Meyer has stated that "all" of a meyerpire's bodily fluids are replaced with venom. Unfortunately for Meyer, different bodily fluids are different for a reason, and serve different functions.

Blood is best known for transporting oxygen, a vital component of our energy-generation systems, without which we would not have the energy to maintain life. Vampires, traditionally, have no need for oxygen, but then, traditional vampires don't pretend to fall under the domain of science. If Meyer is going to talk science about her vampires, they need to follow the laws of physics, which means they need to generate energy. If they're not using oxygen for that purpose, she should explain what they're replacing it with, and how exactly their venom-filled vascular system is transporting said material.

Semen serves to nourish and support live sperm. is consists mostly of sugars to fuel the sperm, and base to counteract the acidic environment the sperm will need to traverse. Magic meyerpire venom-y DNA transfer aside, actual venom of any kind is not known for it's sugar content or alkalinity, and so should not serve this function. Logically, Meyerpires should be infertile. This would be awesome, because then the demon spawn Renesmee would not exist.

This venom presumable also fills their "crystalline" cells. Unfortunately, real venom is dangerous stuff, and real venomous predators store it in specialised, highly protected organs composed of fast-regenerating tissues. Releasing it throughout one's body would kill the predator as surely as the prey. That mid-transformation agony Meyer describes ought to be a permanent condition. (Which frankly, would make for a much more interesting story.)

Shape-shifters Edit

The shape-shifters, formerly known as werewolves, are said to have 24 chromosome pairs. In the real world, such edits generally cause problems for the organism rather than benefits. For example, an extra chromosome 21 causes Down Syndrome, and other extras will cause other health problems. However, in Stephenie Meyer's books, it gives you the ability to morph into a giant wolf when angry. Where this extra chromosome came from is not explained, leading many to wish that Meyer had stuck with a mystical explanation.

The "shapeshifting" was passed down to the Black, Uleys and Atearas by Taha Aki. How Taha Aki acquired shapeshifting cannot be termed as "scientific" just because words like gene and chromosomes are used. According to story, Taha Aki was soul warrior whose soul could travel leaving his body behind. After a mishap Taha Aki had to share body of a wolf, but the human emotions were too powerful for wolf's body, so wolf just turned into a human. Voila ! Also there were no vampires around at the time first tranformation took place, so why do these shapeshifters have "immunity" to vampire venom and wolf genes kick in only when vampires are around ? The first enemy wasn't even a vampire ! Taha Aki went from a "soul traveller" to a "sharing body of a normal wolf" to a "human with 24 chromosomes (and 8 pack abs) who can tranform into a super powerful wolf". The best explaination would be magic or getting bitten by a radiated wolf. Alas for Stephanie, who banned magic from her world.

Drinking BloodEdit

No Exit From the BodyEdit

According to Meyer, the blood that her characters drink "goes the old blood ways". But how does it leave the body? If the vampires do not piss relieve themselves, where does it go? How does it even make it from the digestive system to the blood vessels? Maybe this helps to explain Renesmee's conception, because that's the only possible thing that could have happened to it, plus the only thing that would have made it possible. (Just think about it...) Long story short, the Law of Conservation Of Mass is violated in Twilight.

Some assume that the blood is absorbed, but nobody has figured out how that could happen. And even if it IS absorbed, every vampire above the age of a hundred would cause an earthquake every time they took a step.

Eye Color Edit

In Twilight, vampires that feed on human blood are described as having red eyes, while "vegetarian" vampires that feed on animals other than humans have golden eyes. One's diet does not affect one's eye colour; it's genetically determined. This is why real vegetarians do not have bright pink eyes. Aside from the issue of why a creature's diet would have an effect on its eye color, it makes no sense for human blood to be any different from the blood of animals. Human blood and other mammalian blood, which is what the Cullens appear to mainly feed from, have the same composition. In other words, the different eye colors are how she makes the Cullens stand out form her brethren and show how 'special' they are.

Bella's Stink Smell Edit

A red blood cell is made of haemoglobin, and various organic molecules that make up the outer cell. Red blood cells have a very slight "metallic" smell due to the iron in the hemoglobin. The various organic molecules are found everywhere else in the body, and do not smell like freesia. The antigens, plasma, and other cells found in blood do not smell like freesias at all, as plasma is mostly water, antigens don't give off an odor, and white blood cells do not have a smell. There is no possible way for a human's blood to smell like freesias, unless Bella has some issues with injecting perfume.

Lack of FangsEdit

If vampires have human-sized teeth, they should not be able to drink blood. Human teeth are not long enough to reach blood vessels. Any creature that drinks blood (mosquito, vampire bat) has a straw on the mouth or fangs respectively, so they only way Meyerpeyers can hunt is with a straw. Or, you know, sort of crushing everything to get to the blood vessels.

Important Vampire Hunting Equipment

The Skin of a Killer, and why sparkling is an affront to vampires Edit

Oh, my! A sparkling yet murderous vampire!





Traditional vampire lore states that vampires have an aversion to the sun. While early vampire literature often lacked this (The Vampyre -the story that introduced the modern vampire to fiction-, Varney the Vampire, Carmilla, and Dracula), they often gave bounds to it. The vampires in the 90s TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer burst into flame when the sun hit them. Vampires such as Lord Ruthven and Carmilla (both, especially the latter, are much more impressive in range of abilities to Meyer's vampires), grew tired and became uncomfortable while in the sun, while Dracula's supernatural powers were heavily weakened in the sunlight. Even today many vampires in fiction can safely walk in the sun without dying, but often suffer some sort of weakness, whether it be dying in sunlight (Nosfeartu, an adaption of Dracula, was responsible for introducing the ideas that vampires literally died in sunlight), having their powers weakened, or another drawback. Most writers who can write half a damn will give their vampires some sort of reasonable reason to avoid the sun.

Stephenie Meyer, however, gave a new twist to the lore, saying that vampires do not enter the sunlight because it causes their skin to sparkle like diamonds. This is apparently because the venom turns each cell into "a single facet" of a "crystal-like substance". Of course, crystals are rigid, meaning that the transformation would make it impossible for the vampires to move without shattering into little piles of sparkly fairy dust. Meyer claims that this works because a "venom-like substance" lubricates the cells. However, if each cell is a "facet," that would imply they are connected. If each cell is an individual crystal, Meyerpires would just be shiny, because cells are way too small for the human eye to see the individual sparkles. Also, if sunlight makes Meyerpires glitter, so should flourescent light and incandescent light. They should sparkle even under cloud cover. In traditional vampire lore the effect is mystical, and so the restriction to sunlight is justified, but sunlight is not fundamentally different from other very bright light. It should also be noted that such crystal structures can be found in plasma screen TVs, video game screens, and cell phones, as well as being the same lipid structure that makes soap and detergent. And they don't sparkle, do they?

Temperatures Edit

The vampires are as cold as ice, regardless of the temperature of things around them. There is no reason for this: While as corpses they would not be generating heat, the idea that they are somehow absorbing ridiculous amounts of energy without their temperature rising at all violates basic physics, specifically the Law of Conservation of Energy (This law is only violated in nuclear explosions, and is explained with Einstein's famous equation E = mc^2, explaining that small amounts of mass are converted into large amounts of energy and vice versa. And the vampires are not creating tiny nuclear explosions inside themselves, last we checked). Logically, long-term exposure to heat would bring their body heat to room temperature, at least. For instance, Bella can sleep with Edward for several hours, and none of her heat will be transferred to his body. It's not that vampires produce no body heat: they seem to be rather akin to refrigerators.

Equally stupid, the werewolves have a very high temperature. Meyer has done enough research to point out that the werewolves have high metabolisms, but she has not explained how and why the werewolves bodies suddenly start creating heat-tolerant proteins in time to keep them alive during their sudden temperature increase. She also has not explained why the werewolves have this characteristic, which pointlessly wastes energy that they might need for fighting/ripping the heads off Meyerpires.

Nessie "Hellspawn/Demonspawn" CullenEdit

Since apparently Meyerpire venom carries DNA, instead of logical things like enzymes, it is possible to argue that the magical Meyerpire venom could impregnate someone. However there are other problems with Nessie's conception. Bella has 46 chromosomes, so her egg has 23. Edward apparently has 50, so his . . . uh . . . venom - has 25. According to Meyer, via Carlisle, this means that Renesmee has 24 chromosome pairs, which explains her bizarre growth acceleration and why Jacob imprints on her. This is apparently because Meyer believes that when you have too many chromosomes on one side they just fold down and make another pair. In real life, chromosomes do not work that way: Renesmee would have 23 chromosome pairs and 2 extra chromosomes hanging off on their own. While it is remotely possible that she would survive and be reasonably normal, the odd chromosome structure would prevent the DNA from pairing up properly in most fetuses, and she would be mostly, if not completely infertile. She would also have multiple birth defects. However, she is a perfect little creature.

Other than that it should be impossible for Eddikins to get an erection, because he has no flowing blood. We may try to explain this with him drinking blood before having sex- thus adding enough blood into his system to get an erection. But as stated above this blood would have no way of exiting either leaving him with an eternal erection or making him explode at one point because theres too much blood in his system and his stone body can't change. But if we say the magical venom makes him get an erection his veins should be filled with that venom. And that would again leave us with the question where the blood of all those innocent animals go. Why couldn't Meyer just say it was magic again?

Vampire Sex Edit

Sudden temperature changes are spermicidal. Edit

Spermatozoa are extremely delicate. While semen will freeze at 33.8 degrees Fahrenheit, to retain potency, it needs to be frozen over a period of time, with temperatures even a tenth of a degree off dramatically reducing potency. Similarly, it must be heated up slowly and consistently. Bella's uterus would destroy any sperm in the semen he had, because even if she was numbed from his cold penis, she still produces body heat. Because cold is just the absence of heat, she would eventually warm his penis, rather than his cold penis freezing her vagina enough to be hospitable to his frozen semen.

Sperm do not retain potency over time unless kept at an amazingly low temperature. Edit

How low? -196 degrees Celsius or -320.8 degrees Fahrenheit. If Edward was that cold, Bella would die of shock if she touched him. Even if it was just his testicles retaining that kind of cold, his ejaculate would kill 98.6 degree Bella. She would literally freeze to death from the inside.

If Edward's saliva would be enough to turn Bella, his semen would be more than enough. Edit

While humans produce about 1.5 liters of saliva a day, it is not all in our mouths at once. We have a few milliliters of fluid in our mouths at all time. Ejaculate is approximately 2-5 milliliters of fluid. That's slightly more than is in the mouth at most given points.

If the whole thing with saliva was that it could get into her bloodstream, ejaculate would still be more than enough.

While the womb is closed, Edward was rough. We know he was rough, and we know Bella was a virgin. It is not unreasonable to assume that her hymen would've been torn, which Edward's semen would have easily been able to get into her bloodstream. His pre-ejaculate should have vamped her.

The vagina is not a set amount of inches deep at all times: it tents. Edit

Unless all these female vamps were aroused when they were turned, their vaginas are only about two inches deep. If their bodies can't stretch, neither can their vaginal canals. Only very small men could have successful sex with a female vampire.

Vaginal fluid is a bodily fluid that is consistently produced, much like semen. Edit

So if semen is magically venomed, female vamps should be producing constant levels of venom to keep their vaginal canals moist. A man who could fit his penis into the two inches he has to play with will be made very unhappy: if venom can melt contact lenses, it can melt skin.

Imprinting Edit

Imprinting, the process by which a shape-shifter forms an instant bond with a human, is allegedly for the purpose of reproduction. However, Nessie, a hybrid of two species, should be infertile. Therefore, it makes no sense for Jacob to imprint on a genetic dead end such as her. Also if they have 24 chromosome pairs they should have a lot of bloody trouble trying to reproduce at all, unless some human girls just have an extra pair and this phenomenon has been missed by science all these years.

Jacob "Sensed" Renesmee's Egg?Edit

SMeyer explains that the reason Jacob loved Bella was because he sensed Renesmee's egg inside of her. There are some things wrong with this besides sounding disgusting. For starters, the egg could have been lost due to the menstrual cycle. During the menstrual cycle, some follicles -- which contain eggs -- are lost. From the time that Jacob first fell in love with Bella Sue to Breaking Canon, Renesmee's egg should have been lost by then.

Also, meiosis doesn't complete until just before ovulation. There is no way Jacob could have sensed the egg, because it would have been genetically identical to every other cell in Bella's ovaries.

The other inconsistency of this is that MALES determine the gender of the baby, not females as SMeyer seems to be convinced of. This would mean that Jacob would have imprinted on Renesmee even if she turned out to be a he. Again, as stated in the above section on imprinting, this would make imprinting pointless since males cannot become pregnant. Unless he actually imprinted on Edward's "venom" which raises more questions. In addition to this, if he could truly "sense" Renesmee, wouldn't it have resulted in him falling in love with Edward as well?

Once again, SMeyer proves that she fails at biology.

Note: There is some disagreement as to whether the passage in which Jacob mentions being attracted to Bella because of her hellspawn refers to the egg or the fetus. Due to the ambiguity of the bullshit statement, it could be argued either way.

In the case of Jacob's attraction being toward the fetus, it is still exceptionally questionable as to how Jacob could 'sense' that a partially developed mass of stem cells would develop into his future sex slave soul mate.

P.S.: If Jacob fell in love with Bella's uterus, and half of the genes would be from her, and the other half from Edward, and if he fell in love with her before she had sex with Edward, and we share 50% of our genes with a banana, does that mean Jacob could fall in love with a banana as well?

Actually, it seems to be Edward who's attracted to bananas.

I sense a new love triangle in the offing.

Apples Edit

Contrary to popular belief, apples don't bounce; he kicked it then caught it in his hands no matter what Smeyer or the twitards say. - Actually, apples DO bounce, but only very slightly. But definitely not to the point where Edward could throw it, let it hit the ground, and then catch it without applying any extra force to the apple. There is a way to make that happen though, and that is if he stood on a trampoline while doing so. But last time we watched the movie, he was in a bedroom.

Learn to do research, Meyer, learn to do research.

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