If it weren't for the controller, I'd think this was a lunchbox.

The Philips CD-i was a video game system by Phillips. It was originally planned to be an CD add-on for the Super Nintendo, sort of like the Sega CD for the Genesis. After a bunch of TTYL HAWT VAMPIER SECKS!!!11!, it was made into the atrocity it is today. It had plenty of

shitty unspeakably terrible games in its library, most of which were "educational", but no one really cared about.

One of the four notorious games from this system was Hotel Mario, a game from the Super Mario Brothers series of games. This video should get you started.

There were three awful Legend of Zelda games, as well. (that's right, three. Tres. Trois. три. Drei.) A little bit of weaseling through Wikis from these “Links” (insert comedic rimshot here) will get you to info about these. Although this system has virtually nothing to do with Twilight, there was recently some very exciting news of a new game that was to appear on this system...

Frozen Apples: The GameEdit

The latest CD-i game announced is Frozen Apples: The Game, developed by Some Crappy Third-Party Company and published by Nintendo. The plot revolves around a 31-year-old man named John Smith living in New York City. While on his way to work, rabid Twitards begin to seize the city and brutally murder anyone who didn't have a copy of Twilight on their personnel at that moment. Unfortunately, John failed to have a copy, so he ran into a gun store, where he met a man named Michael Black. After a long discussion, the duo stormed out of the shop, killing the rebellious fangirls with their guns.

The game is of the survival-horror genre. The starting location is New York, although you eventually go to locations featured in Twilight, such as Forks, Volterra, Crapville, and Isle Esme, amongst others. John and Michael meet up with other memorable characters from Twilight, such as EDDYKINZ <3, Mike Newton, Tyler Crowley, Eric Yorkie, and Victoria. There is even a level where they all ride Tyler's Van together. Other characters, such as Bella Sue and Sparklypire, make appearances as boss characters, and the Volturi make apppearances as common enemies alongside fangirls.

You play as a regular human being trying to kill SMeyer while at the same time destroying every copy of Twilight in existence. It is probably the most sensible and awesomest CD-i game. It falls into the First-Person Shooter category of video games. It is rated PC-13 by a Random Rating Association. It is similar to the awesome game Wolfenstein 3d. The most common enemy is the fangirl. The cover of the game features the Twilight cover, except instead of an apple, he is holding a pile of crap.

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