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I decided to make this page, for the same reason as the page named Female Characters Who OWN Bella exists. Here will be the list of the men
Down-for-the-count
(and boys) who outshine that sparkly control freak Right Man Christian Grey Eddykins. Feel free to add your chosen ones.

After you finish this, see also: Better Edwards than Edward.

  1. Every male in the entire history of time! However, the following get a special mention:
  2. Every male who has edited this page, or this wiki, in general! You get a big round of applause!
  3. Your Father
  4. Your Grandfather
  5. Your Male Ancestors
  6. Your Brothers (If you have any)
  7. Your Sons (If you have any)
  8. Your Uncles (If you have any)
  9. Your Male Cousins (If you have any)
  10. Your Male Pets (if you have any)
  11. Your Boyfriend (if you have one)
  12. Your Husband (if you have one)
  13. Aragorn(Lord of the Rings)
  14. Legolas(Lord of the Rings) he can see Edward shining from miles away and easily shoot him down with flame tipped arrow.
  15. Gimli (Lord of the Rings) smite his head off with his axe
  16. Gandald (Lord of the Rings) YOU SHALL NOT PASS
  17. Sauron (Lord of the Rings) he is a Maiar, who was present for creation. Vampires are puny creatures to him.
  18. Any Maiar, Valar, man, elf, dwarf or hobbit from Lord of the Rings
  19. Wesley (The Princess Bride) (Fail #1, Morgan!)
  20. Harry Potter (OBVIOUSLY!!!!!!!)
  21. Severus Snape (Of Course!)
  22. Remus Lupin,
  23. Rubeus Hagrid
  24. Sirius Black
  25. Ron Weasley
  26. All male characters in Harry Potter books
  27. Optimus Prime
  28. Percy Jackson
  29. Grover Underwood
  30. Luke Castellan
  31. Nico di Angelo
  32. Will Solace
  33. Travis and Conner Stoll
  34. Chris Rodriguez
  35. Basically everyone in Percy Jackson
  36. Stitch (Lilo and Stitch)
  37. Dr. Jumba Jookiba (Lilo and Stitch)
  38. Pleakley (Lilo and Stitch)
  39. Captain Gantu (Lilo & Stitch)
  40. Spock
  41. Stacker Pentecost (Pacific Rim) "Today, we are canceling the Apocalypse!"
  42. Peeta Mellark
  43. Gale Hawthorne
  44. Lord Raiden (From the mortal kombat series)
  45. Porkins
  46. Homer Simpson
  47. Indiana Jones
  48. Darth Vader (after he got the mask on, anyway. Before, he was kinda whiny. But even then, he was still better)
  49. Batman. Just Batman
  50. Marv (Sin City)
  51. John Marston (Red Dead Redemption)
  52. The Doctor (Doctor Who) in ANY form! (And this includes the Valeyard, and the Thirteenth Doctor qualifies for the Female Characters Who OWN Bella page!)
  53. Ian Chesterton (Doctor Who)
  54. Jamie McCrimmon (Doctor Who)
  55. The Brigadier (Doctor Who)
  56. Mike Yates (Doctor Who)
  57. John Benton (Doctor Who)
  58. Harry Sullivan (Doctor Who)
  59. Adric (Doctor Who)
  60. Vislor Turlough (Doctor Who)
  61. The Master (Doctor Who)
  62. Frobisher (Doctor Who)
  63. Drax (Doctor Who)
  64. Hex Schofield (Doctor Who)
  65. C'rizz (Doctor Who)
  66. Fitz Kriener (Doctor Who)
  67. Captain Jack Harkness (Doctor Who & Torchwood)
  68. Rory Williams (Doctor Who)
  69. Ash Ketchum (Pokemon)
  70. Flint (Pokemon)
  71. Lucas (Pokemon)
  72. Hilbert (Pokemon)
  73. Brendan (Pokemon)
  74. Naruto Uzumaki (Naruto)
  75. Natural Harmonia Gropius (Pokemon)
  76. Murtagh Morzansson (Inheritance Cycle) He was forced to torture Nasuada, leader of the Varden, but at least he was deeply sorry for his actions. He healed and freed her later. If she, now being a High Queen of Alagaesia, matured and loved someone else, Murtagh would respect her choice! Anyways, I've never shipped this couple. Murtagh will be happy with another girl and unlike Morzan will NEVER be neither abusive nor harsh towards his wife (and children, if they ever had, and also others in general, including his brother Eragon). He rejects his father's legacy and all he wants is not to be like him! EddieKinz has no chivalry or nobility whatsoever. He's just a domineering freak, like his alter ego Ch.G. (Ummm, you know who).
  77. Drosselmyer (Princess Tutu) He's a much better author than Stephelmyer will ever be!
  78. Tamaki Suoh (Ouran High School Host Club) He even does the sparkle thing better than Edward!
  79. Kyoya Ootori (Ouran High School Host Club)
  80. Hikaru Hitachiin (Ouran High School Host Club)
  81. Kaoru Hitachiin (Ouran High School Host Club)
  82. Mitsikuni "Honey" Haninozuka (Ouran High School Host Club)
  83. Takashi "Mori" Morinozuka (Ouran High School Host Club)
  84. Haruhi Fujioka (Ouran High School Host Club) I know she's really a girl, but still better than Sparkle-pants!
  85. Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs)
  86. Junichirou Tanazaki (Bungou Stray Dogs)
  87. Yukichi Fukuzawa (Bungou Stray Dogs)
  88. Ranpo Edogawa (Bungou Stray Dogs)
  89. Doppo Kunikida (Bungou Stray Dogs)
  90. Ryunosuke Akutagawa (Bungou Stray Dogs)
  91. Atsushi Nakajima (Bungou Stray Dogs)
  92. Chuuya Nakahara (Bungou Stray Dogs)
  93. Holden Caulfield (sure he has issues and problems, but he's not a whiny emo.)
  94. The Nostalgia Critic (He remembers it so we don't have to!)
  95. Link (The Legend of Zelda)
  96. Kotetsu T Kaburagi (Tiger & Bunny)
  97. Barnaby Brooks jr. (Tiger & Bunny)
  98. Frodo Baggins
  99. Faramir & Boromir
  100. Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck & Peregrin "Pippin" Took
  101. Samwise Gamgee
  102. Elrond
  103. Theoden
  104. Bilbo Baggins
  105. L Lawliet (Death Note)
  106. Light Yagami (Death Note)
  107. Ciel Phantomhive (Black Butler a.k.a. Kuroshitsuji)
  108. Sebastian Michaelis (Black Butler a.k.a. Kuroshitsuji)
  109. Zidane Tribal (Final Fantasy IX) "To hell with looks, it's what's inside that counts!". Aparrently, Meyer's philosophy of love (or basic human nature, for that matter) is completely opposite of this excellent quote.
  110. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)
  111. John Kramer/Jigsaw (Saw Movie Series)
  112. Kuja (Final Fantasy IX) When Edward Cullen gets mad, he just huffs and puffs or acts abusive, claiming it as protection. When Kuja gets mad, he blows up an entire planet and plans to drag ALL EXISTENCE with him into absolute nothingness.
  113. Kefka Palazzo (Final Fantasy VI) I'd like to see how long Edward would last against the God Of Magic!
  114. Robin Hood (Pretty much every version of this character)
  115. King Arthur (Same as Robin Hood)
  116. Shrek
  117. Donkey (Shrek)
  118. Jonathan Joestar (Better vampire slayer)
  119. Joseph Joestar (Killed an immortal god that fed on vampires)
  120. Jotaro Kujo (Finished Jonathan Joestar's JoJob)
  121. Guts (Berserk)
  122. Danny Desai (Twisted)
  123. Sephiroth (Final Fantasy VII) Edward Cullen never once had a choir preaching his name for his own theme.(If Edward even had a theme in the first place.)
  124. Ryuk (Death Note) He's not gonna be happy when he realizes Twilight stole his apple...
  125. Alucard (Hellsing) He is the bird of Hermes, Count Dracula, and Vlad The Impaler, all in one. And not to mention he's a REAL vampire.
  126. Bruce Banner/The Hulk
  127. Thor
  128. Tony Stark/Iron Man
  129. Steve Rogers/Captain America
  130. All the male Professors in Pokemon (Especially Sycamore)
  131. Every Male Pokemon
  132. Sonic The Hedgehog
  133. Shadow The Hedgehog
  134. Silver The Hedgehog
  135. Miles "Tails Prower"
  136. Knuckles the Echidna (even though he's a idiot, he's MUCH smarter than Edward)
  137. Chris Thorndyke (Yes, even HE pwns Edward.)
  138. Ian Hecox and Anthony Padilla from Smosh
  139. Professor Layton (Who wants to have Sparkly Vampire when you can have a Smart and Gentlemanly Professor?)
  140. Luke Triton (Professor Layton)
  141. At least every male character in Professor Layton
  142. Gon Freecss
  143. Killua Zoldyck
  144. Hisoka (from Hunter x Hunter)
  145. Every male character in Hunter x Hunter
  146. Tuxedo Mask
  147. Illumi Zoldyck
  148. Every male Disney villain
  149. The Disney Princes, though not as known/marketted as their female counterparts
  150. Robb Stark, his father Ned and his brothers (Game of Thrones)
  151. Jon Snow (Game of Thrones)
  152. Theon Greyjoy (Game of Thrones)
  153. Hodor (Game of Thrones)
  154. Jaime Lannister (Game of Thrones)
  155. Loras Tyrell (Game of Thrones)
  156. Oberyn and Doran Martell (Game of Thrones)
  157. Edward Sullen from Vampires Suck, because even a parody version of him is better than the real thing!
  158. Johnny Test (let's face it. His TV show is a million times better than Twishite)
  159. Kurapika (Blonde Male who kicks ASS!)
  160. Kalluto Zoldyck (Even a 10 year boy that wears a kimono kicks more ass than Edtard)
  161. Greely (Animal Jam, at least this wolf is better than Jacrap)
  162. Sir Gilbert (Animal Jam)
  163. Graham (Animal Jam)
  164. Cosmo (Animal Jam)
  165. Every male alpha in Animal Jam
  166. Finnick Odair
  167. Zushi (From Hunter X Hunter; EVEN he kicks Edward's ass!)
  168. Shaiapouf (Butterfly-humanoid is more awesome than sparkly stone man)
  169. Every guy from the Total Drama series (Yes, even Chris the Prick and Duncan the douchebag.)
  170. All 4 Beatles
  171. Discord (My Little Pony)
  172. Captain Underpants/Mr. Krupp (Even a children's book is better than a crappy novel)
  173. Mewtwo (Pokemon: The First Movie [Mewtwo has been reffered as a he in this one.])
  174. Han Solo
  175. R2-D2 (A lot of people reffered R2 as a he, so yeah.)
  176. Boba Fett
  177. Obi-Wan Kenobi
  178. C-3PO (Same thing with R2)
  179. Chewbacca 
  180. Luke Skywalker
  181. Kirby (Despite being Pink, Kirby is AWESOME!)
  182. Meta Knight
  183. King Dedede
  184. Escargoon
  185. Every Kirby Villian
  186. Feitan (Rising Sun. BAM! Eddie's dead)
  187. Every male in the Phantom Troupe/Genei Ryodan (Remember Uvogin!)
  188. Eddie Dombrowski (Finally; An Eddie we all can like!)
  189. Chrollo Lucilfer (Edward can't be nearly as sexy as this guy; also Ability stealing FTW)
  190. Zeno Zoldyck and Maha Zoldyck (Even old men own Edtard and Jacrap)
  191. Every male character in Yu Yu Hakusho
  192. Isaac Netero (Hunter x Hunter; He'd own Edward in a heartbeat)
  193. Ping (A.K.A. Mulan disguised as a male; Mulan still makes a better man as Ping than Edward)
  194. Omokage (Hunter x Hunter; He makes a better villain than The Volturi debate team, kicks more ass than Edtard and Jacrap combined, Added points for creepiness. He would never betray Retz for someone else!)
  195. Leorio Paradinight (Hunter x Hunter; He'd make a better doctor than Carlisle.)
  196. Kazuma Kuwabara (Yu Yu Hakusho, Despite his love for kittens; he's still epic.)
  197. Neferpitou (Hunter x Hunter; Technically an 'it'. But who cares?)
  198. Youko Kurama/Shuichi Minamino/Kurama (Yu Yu Hakusho; Mostly mistaken for a girl. He owns Edward, Jacob, Carlisle, and every pathetic male in that series)
  199. Hiei (Yu Yu Hakusho; He'd destroy EVERYONE in that series, Male or Female. Especially Edward.)
  200. Yusuke Urameshi (Yu Yu Hakusho; He had an abusive mother, was a TERRIBLE student, and he was hit by a car saving a little kid; then brought back to life. Take that Edward!)
  201. Shinobu Sensui and his 7 other personalities (Yu Yu Hakusho)
  202. Menthuthuyoupi (Hunter x Hunter)
  203. Aoba Seragaki, Ren, Clear, Sei, and pretty much every guy from DRAMAtical Murder, DRAMAtical Murder re:connect, and DRAMAtical Murder re:code
  204. Milluki Zoldyck (Hunter x Hunter; He may be obese and a otaku with a short temper, but at least he's still funny. Edtard's not.)
  205. Meruem (Hunter x Hunter; Edturd wouldn't stand a chance against The Chimera Ant King!)
  206. Angry German Kid/Leopold Slikk/A.G.K.
  207. All the males in Dangan Ronpa
  208. Silva Zoldyck (Hunter x Hunter; he's a better father than Edturd)
  209. Koenma/King Enma Jr. (YuYu Hakusho)
  210. The Toguro Brothers (YuYu Hakusho)
  211. Mike 'Zoldyck' (Hunter x Hunter; and he's a Gigantic watchdog.)
  212. All the male Chimera Ants
  213. Kite (Hunter x Hunter; this is before he got reincarnated into the Chimera Ant 'Reina' AKA "Kite", Meruem's twin sister. But his female reincarnation is still awesome)
  214. All the males in the SAW films
  215. Karasu (YuYu Hakusho)
  216. All the males in Carved: Slit-Mouthed Woman
  217. Wing (Hunter x Hunter; Who needs Abusive Asshole when you can have a nice guy who can teach you Nen?)
  218. Tornadus, Thundurus, and Landorus (Pokémon; and they're The Forces Of Nature)
  219. Hanzo (Hunter x Hunter; Hanzo kicks A.A.[Abusive Asshole]'s ass any day!)
  220. Soul Doll Illumi Zoldyck (Hunter x Hunter: Phantom Rouge)
  221. Zebero-San (Hunter x Hunter)
  222. Knuckle Bine (Hunter x Hunter; even tough guys can have a soft side)
  223. Satotz (Hunter x Hunter)
  224. Soul Doll Pairo (Hunter x Hunter: Phantom Rouge)
  225. Any male soul doll!
  226. Angry Dominican Kid/ A.D.K.
  227. Nobunaga Hazama (Hunter x Hunter; he should be higher up, I know.)
  228. Latios (Pokémon)
  229. All the male members of the band Pentatonix
  230. Pick any book by Stephen King, then pick any male character; He owns Edturd.
  231. Franklin (Hunter x Hunter)
  232. Annote Itsuki (YuYu Hakusho)
  233. Mukuro (YuYu Hakusho; I know 'he' is actually a female, but she's still a better dude than Abusive Asshole)
  234. Hell, even Robert Pattinson himself! Bonus points considering he LOATHES the character he plays in this series!
  235. Mizuki (DRAMAtical Murder)
  236. Every member of the band Tally Hall  
  237. Retz (Hunter x Hunter; 'He' is actually a chick, same reason as Mukuro and Mulan(AKA 'Ping').)
  238. Ren and this includes ANY form! (Allmate, Rhyme battle mode, Sei-Ren; DRAMAtical Murder)
  239. Clear and his brothers, a and a2!
  240. Every member of the band Korn
  241. Skrillex
  242. Virus and Trip (DRAMAtical Murder)
  243. Lysandre (Pokémon)
  244. Johness the Dissector (Hunter x Hunter; He'd tear apart Eddiekins before he can sparkle.)
  245. The "OH MY DAYUM" guy
  246. Beni and Tori/Huracan (DRAMAtical Murder; even birds own Mr. Sparklepants)
  247. Hersha and Welter/Berta (DRAMAtical Murder; [Virus and Trip's Allmates])
  248. Octodad (he cares for his family, and he's really an octopus)
  249. Dr. Mario
  250. Nain/Nine/Naine Seragaki (DRAMAtical Murder; AKA Aoba's adoptive father)
  251. Sly Blue (AKA: 'Other Aoba', 'SCRAP Aoba')
  252. Tauros (Pokémon)
  253. All of Ash Ketchum's 30 Tauros (Pokémon)
  254. Any and all male Pokémon!
  255. Any male from Team Fortress 2
  256. Braviary (Pokémon)
  257. Hitmonchan (Pokémon; Don't let them put you down 'cause you wear a purple tunic, keep on punching Hitmonchan!)
  258. Hitmonlee (Pokémon)
  259. Every single male Gardevoir (Pokémon; Defy all Poké-Stereotypes!)
  260. Ashitaka (Princess Mononoke)
  261. All male Gothita, Gothorita, and Gothitelle (Pokémon)
  262. That guy who loves Sum 41 and captured a shiny Ponyta on Pokémon Leaf Green (LIVE Shiny Ponyta after 25968 encounters Leaf Green)
  263. Bonnie the Bunny (Five Nights at Freddy's; the creator even said Bonnie is male.)
  264. Foxy the Pirate-Fox
  265. Freddy Fazbear
  266. Calem (Pokémon X and Y)
  267. Nigel Thornberry (The Wild Thornberries)
  268. The Dovakiin (The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim)
  269. Akuma (Street Fighter)
  270. Simon the Digger (Gurren Lagann)
  271. Kamina (Gurren Lagann)
  272. Kamen Rider Ichigo (Kamen Rider)
  273. Kamen Rider Nigo (Kamen Rider)
  274. Kamen Rider V3 (Kamen Rider V3)
  275. Riderman (Kamen Rider V3)
  276. Kamen Rider X (Kamen Rider X)
  277. Kamen Rider Amazon (Kamen Rider Amazon)
  278. Kamen Rider Stronger (Kamen Rider Stronger)
  279. Skyrider (Kamen Rider (Skyrider))
  280. Kamen Rider Super-1 (Kamen Rider Super-1)
  281. Kamen Rider ZX (Kamen Rider ZX)
  282. Kamen Rider Black/Black RX (Kamen Rider Black, Kamen Rider Black RX)
  283. Kamen Rider Shin (Shin Kamen Rider: Prologue; yes, even this guy is better than Edward.)
  284. Kamen Rider ZO (Kamen Rider ZO)
  285. Kamen Rider J (Kamen Rider J)
  286. Kamen Rider Kuuga (Kamen Rider Kuuga)
  287. Kamen Rider Agito (Kamen Rider Agito)
  288. Kamen Rider Ryuki (Kamen Rider Ryuki)
  289. Kamen Rider Faiz (Kamen Rider Faiz)
  290. Kamen Rider Blade (Kamen Rider Blade)
  291. Kamen Rider Hibiki (Kamen Rider Hibiki)
  292. Kamen Rider Kabuto (Kamen Rider Kabuto)
  293. Kamen Rider Den-O (Kamen Rider Den-O)
  294. Kamen Rider Kiva (Kamen Rider Kiva)
  295. Kamen Rider Decade (Kamen Rider Decade)
  296. Kamen Rider G (Kamen Rider G)
  297. Kamen Rider Double (Kamen Rider Double)
  298. Kamen Rider OOO (Kamen Rider OOO)
  299. Kamen Rider Fourze (Kamen Rider Fourze)
  300. Kamen Rider Wizard (Kamen Rider Wizard)
  301. Kamen Rider Gaim (Kamen Rider Gaim)
  302. Kamen Rider Drive (Kamen Rider Drive)
  303. Mike Schmidt (Five Nights at Freddy's)
  304. Phone Guy (Five Nights at Freddy's)
  305. Golden Freddy (Five Nights at Freddy's)
  306. Leroy Jethro Gibbs (NCIS)
  307. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard (NCIS)
  308. Heck, every male in NCIS ever.
  309. Jeremy Fitzgerald (Five Nights at Freddy's 2)
  310. Toy Foxy/The Mangle/Mangle (Five Nights at Freddy's; technically an 'it' for now)
  311. Amuro Ray (Gundam 0079)
  312. Char Aznable (Gundam 0079)
  313. Kamille Bidan (Zeta Gundam)
  314. Judah Ashta (ZZ Gundam)
  315. Banagher Links (Gundam Unicorn)
  316. Kou Uraki (Stardust Memory)
  317. Anavel Gato (Stardust Memory)
  318. Riddhe Marcenas (Gundam Unicorn)
  319. Gyunei (Char's Counterattack)
  320. Yazan Gable (Zeta Gundam)
  321. Loran Cehack (Turn A)
  322. Harry Ord (Turn A)
  323. Domon Kasshu (G Gundam)
  324. Master Asia (G Gundam)
  325. Kira Yamato (Gundam Seed)
  326. Athrun Zala (Gundam Seed)
  327. Shinn Asuka (Gundam Seed Destiny)
  328. Setsuna F. Seiei (Gundam 00)
  329. Lockon Stratos (Gundam 00)
  330. Allelujah Haptism (Gundam 00)
  331. Tieria Erde (Gundam 00)
  332. Ali al-Saachez (Gundam 00)
  333. Ribbons Almark (Gundam 00)
  334. Bellri Zenam (Reconguista in G)
  335. Luin Lee (Reconguista in G)
  336. Sei Iori (Build Fighters)
  337. Heero (Wing)
  338. Duo (Wing)
  339. Trowa (Wing)
  340. Quatre (Wing)
  341. Wufei (Wing)
  342. Zechs (Wing)
  343. Reiji (Build Fighters)
  344. The Third Meijin (Build Fighters)
  345. Treize (Wing)
  346. Yuuma Kousaka (Build Fighters Try)
  347. Sekai Kamiki (Build Fighters Try)
  348. Wilfrid Kijima (Build Fighters Try)
  349. Saga Adou (Build Fighters Try)
  350. Bright Noa (Gundam 0079)
  351. Hathaway Noa (Char's Counterattack)
  352. Mu La Flaga (Gundam Seed)
  353. Siegel Clyne (Gundam Seed)
  354. Gilbert Durandal (Gundam Seed Destiny)
  355. Junya Inose (Build Fighters Try)
  356. Sleggar Law (Gundam 0079)
  357. Frak it, every male character in the Gundam franchise.
  358. Edward Snowden
  359. Dante (Devil May Cry)
  360. Shinich Kudo/Conan Edogawa (Detective Conan)
  361. Kaitou Kid (Magic Kaito/Detective Conan- Making his opponents look like buffoons is his speciality)
  362. The God-Emperor of Mankind
  363. Gork
  364. Mork
  365. Khorne
  366. Nurgle
  367. Slaanesh (as the Prince of Excess)
  368. Tzeentch
  369. Khaine
  370. Cegorach
  371. The Space Marine Primarchs, both Loyal and Traitor
  372. The Swarmlord
  373. Commissar Ciaphas Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!
  374. Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt
  375. The male Phoenix Lords
  376. Doombreed (who is actually Genghis Khan serving Khorne)
  377. M'kachan (Isaac Newton as a servant of Tzeentch)
  378. Bubonicus (Daemon Prince of Nurgle, possibly Mengele)
  379. Every male character in Warhammer 40k, hands down.
  380. Raffe (Penryn & the End of Days- Actually, I'd say he's like a parody of Edward, like the author read Twilight, put it down, and wrote that series to prove just how Meyer was wrong.)
  381. Every male character from Penryn & the End of Days.
  382. Touma Kamijou (A Certain Magical Index, A Certain scientific Railgun)
  383. Accelerator (A Certain Magical Index, A Certain Scientific Railgun, A Certain Scientific Accelerator)
  384. Every male character from A Certain Magical Index.
  385. Every male character from A Certain Scientific Railgun (There's not many, but they're there...)
  386. Every male character from A Certain Scientific Accelerator.
  387. Hisao Nakai (and he has a heart condition!; Katawa Shoujo)
  388. Kenji Setou (a legally blind nutcase who knows Edward is a closet FEMINIST!; Katawa Shoujo)
  389. Jigoro Hakamichi (When in doubt, apply katana to sparklepire neck; Katawa Shoujo)
  390. Fekk it, the males of the Katawa Shoujo VN are far better than Edward.
  391. Jack Ryan, Sr. (Ryanverse)
  392. John Clark (Ryanverse)
  393. Domingo Chavez (Ryanverse)
  394. Jack Ryan, Jr. (Ryanverse)
  395. Sam Fisher (Splinter Cell)
  396. Fuck it, all the males of Tom Clancy's works. Even the villains.
  397. Ashitaka (Princess Mononoke)
  398. Shinichi and Migi (Parasyte)
  399. Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
  400. Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raphael (renaissance painters)
  401. Star-Lord
  402. Rocket Raccoon
  403. Groot
  404. Drax the Destroyer
  405. Fred Jones, Jr. (Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated)
  406. Norville "Shaggy" Rogers (Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated)
  407. Scoobert Scooby Dooby Doo (Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated) It's been almost four years since the series ended, and I still can't get over how Scooby punched out a Lovecraftian horror, and reset the universe!
  408. Tai and Agumon
  409. Matt and Gabumon
  410. Omnimon
  411. Izzy and Tentomon
  412. T.K. and Patamon
  413. Joe and Gomamon
  414. Takato and Guilmon
  415. Henry and Terriermon
  416. German Renamon
  417. Beelzemon
  418. Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo (At least he makes more sense)
  419. Steven Universe
  420. Mustache Dad
  421. The guy who almost hit Bella with a van
  422. Asgore Dreemurr
  423. Sans the Skeleton
  424. Papyrus the Skeleton
  425. Flowey the Flower/Asriel Dreemurr
  426. Doggo
  427. Dogamy
  428. Greater and Lesser Dog
  429. Annoying Dog
  430. Grillby the Fire Elemental
  431. Aaron
  432. Snowdrake
  433. Cooldrake
  434. Snowdrake's Father
  435. Mettaton
  436. Burgerpants
  437. The Nice Cream Man
  438. Jerry
  439. Male!Frisk
  440. Male!Chara
  441. Male!Napstablook
  442. All the Male Undertale Characters
  443. Shinya Kogami (Psycho-Pass)
  444. Jonathan Joestar (JJBA)
  445. Joseph Joestar (JJBA)
  446. Jotaro Kujo (JJBA)
  447. Josuke Higashikata (both versions, one who goes apeshit if you diss his hair and the other with four balls; JJBA)
  448. Giorno Giovanna (JJBA)
  449. Johnny Joestar (JJBA)
  450. Dio Brando (later DIO; JJBA)
  451. The Pillar Men (JJBA)
  452. Yoshikage Kira (both versions, one who eventually took up the identity of another person and the other who became half of Josuke Four Balls; JJBA)
  453. Diavolo (JJBA)
  454. Enrico Pucci (JJBA)
  455. Funny Valentine (JJBA)
  456. The Stone Men (JJBA)
  457. Why don't we just say that every single male from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure can give Edward the finger?
  458. Every male character to appear on Epic Rap Battles of History, including the ones we already mentioned.
  459. Yato (Noragami)
  460. Yukine (Noragami)
  461. Ebisu (Noragami) (He is a badass!)
  462. Ken Kaneki (Tokyo Ghoul)
  463. Shuu Tsukiyama (Tokyo Ghoul)
  464. Kishou Arima (Tokyo Ghoul) (HE IS A GODDAMN BADASS AND A KING!!!)
  465. Basically Every male characters of Tokyo Ghoul
  466. Eren Jaeger (Attack on Titan)
  467. Captain Levi (Attack on Titan)
  468. Commander Erwin Smith (Attack on Titan)
  469. Basically every male Character of Attack on Titan
  470. Jack Frost (Rise of the Guardians) (He is an immortal who shows more emotion than sparkly fairy Edward)
  471. Yuuri Katsuki (Yuuri!!! On Ice)
  472. Viktor Nikiforov (Yuuri!!! On Ice)
  473. Yuri Plisetsky (Yuuri!!! on Ice)
  474. Kousei Arima (Your Lie in April)
  475. Izuku Midoriya (My Hero Academia)
  476. Shoto Todoroki (My Hero Academia)
  477. Katsuki Bakugo (My Hero Academia)
  478. Tenya Iida (My Hero Academia)
  479. All Might (My Hero Academia)
  480. All Male Heroes of My Hero Academia
  481. Meliodas (Seven Deadly Sins)
  482. Ban (Seven Deadly Sins)
  483. King (Seven Deadly Sins)
  484. Gowther (Seven Deadly Sins)
  485. Escanor (Seven Deadly Sins)
  486. All the male Holy Knights of Seven Deadly Sins
  487. Rat/Tsugiyoshi Sumino (Juuni Taisen)
  488. Ox/Eiji Kashii (Juuni Taisen)
  489. Horse/Yoshimi Sōma (Juuni Taisen)
  490. Sheep/Sumihiko Tsujiie (Juuni Taisen)
  491. Rabbit/Usagi (Juuni Taisen)
  492. Snake/Takeyasu Tsumita (Juuni Taisen)
  493. Dragon/Nagayuki Tsumita (Juuni Taisen)
  494. Dog/Michio Tsukui (Juuni Taisen)
  495. Nagisa Shiota (Assassination Classroom) He looks like a girl, but is more of a killer than Edward Cullen.
  496. Karma Akabane (Assassination Classroom)
  497. Koro Sensei (Assassination Classroom)
  498. Tadaomi Karasuma (Assassination Classroom)
  499. All the male Assassination Classroom Characters
  500. Rin Okumura (Blue Exorcist)
  501. Yukio Okomura (Blue Exorcist)
  502. Shiro Fujimoto (Blue Exorcist)
  503. All the Male Villains from MLP: FIM (Discord blows him up with a finger snap, King Sombra just chokes him with shadows, Lord Tirek blasts him into marble-y pulp)
  504. Spike The Dragon from FIM, he can survive in magma and crush gemstones with his claws, he'd just break Edtard's neck or incinerate him.
  505. Jem Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird)
  506. Atticus Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird)
  507. Spongebob Squarepants
  508. Patrick Star
  509. Squidward Tentacles
  510. Nate River (Death Note)
  511. Undertaker (Black Butler)
  512. Xerxes Break (Pandora Hearts)
  513. Oswald (Pandora Hearts)
  514. Levi (Pandora Hearts)
  515. Vincent Nightray (Pandora Hearts)
  516. Gilbert Nightray (Pandora Hearts)
  517. Elliot Nightray (Pandora Hearts)
  518. Oz (Pandora Hearts)
  519. Jack Vessalius (Pandora Hearts)
  520. Reim Lunettes (Pandora Hearts)
  521. Rufus Barma (Pandora Hearts)
  522. Fuck it, ever male character in Pandora Hearts. Ever.
  523. Sir Daniel Fortesque (MediEvil; An undead skeletal knight with one eye is more interesting than a Sparkling Emo Fag)
  524. Kazuma Satou (KonoSuba)
  525. Natsu Dragneel (Fairy Tail)
  526. Grey(Fairy Tail)
  527. Happy (Fairy Tail)
  528. Yuuichiro Hyakuya (Seraph of the End)
  529. Yoichi Saotome (Seraph of the End)
  530. Shiho Kimizuki (Seraph of the End)
  531. Guren Ichinose (Seraph of the End)
  532. Mikaela Hyakuya (Seraph of the End)
  533. Kureto Hiragi (Seraph of the End)
  534. Lelouch vi Britannia (Code Geass) All Hail Lelouch!
  535. Suzaku Kururugi (Code Geass)
  536. Clovis la Britannia (Code Geass)
  537. Schneizel el Britannia (Code Geass)
  538. Charles zi Britannia (Code Geass)
  539. Akito Hyuuga (Code Geass)
  540. Kaname Ohgi (Code Geass)
  541. Every Male Characters in Code Geass
  542. Soul Eater Evans
  543. Death the Kid (Soul Eater)
  544. Black Star (Soul Eater)
  545. Lord Death (Soul Eater)
  546. Spirit Albarn (Soul Eater)
  547. Dr. Franken Stein (Soul Eater)
  548. All Male Characters of Soul Eater
  549. Mahiro Fuwa (Zetsuen no Tempest)
  550. Yoshino Takigawa (Zetsuen no Tempest)
  551. Tada Banri (Golden Time)
  552. Mitsuo Yanagisawa (Golden Time)
  553. Noctis Lucis Caelum(FFXV)
  554. Cloud Strife(FFVII)
  555. Squall Leonhart(FFVIII)
  556. Tidus(FFX)
  557. Sora(Kingdom Hearts)
  558. Shinji Ikari (Evangelion)
  559. Kaworu Nagisa (Evangelion) [It's okay for him to be gay]
  560. Gendo Ikari (Evangelion) [Edweird makes him an awesome dad]
  561. Mikazuki Augus (Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans)
  562. Orga Itsuka (Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans)
  563. Akihiro Altland (Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans)
  564. Norba Shino (Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans)
  565. Naze Turbine (Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans)
  566. McGillis Fareed (Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans)
  567. Gaelio Bauduin (Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans)
  568. Rustal Elion (Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans) Did somebody say "Dainsleif Firing Squad?"
  569. Tyrion Lannister (A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones)
  570. Sam Winchester (Supernatual)
  571. Dean Winchester (Supernatual).If James had abducted Dean's gf rather than Ed's, he could've said his prayers 'cause he'd be a deeeeeeeeeeeeeead man walking. Dean would tear that dude to shreds.
  572. Bobby Singer (Supernatual)
  573. Sherlock Holmes (any incarnation)
  574. John Watson (any incarnation)
  575. Mycroft Holmes (any incarnation)
  576. D.I. Greg Lestrade (BBC's Sherlock)
  577. Bronn (A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones)
  578. Det. Insp. Bennet Drake (Ripper Street)
  579. P.C. Dick Hobbs (Ripper Street)
  580. Everyone in Touken Ranbu (they'll chop him up faster than he can sparkle)
  581. Tanjiro Kamado (Kimetsu no Yaiba)(Hinokami will finish him instantly)
  582. Zenitsu Agatsuma (Kimetsu no Yaiba)(Even though he's a cowardly womanizer, he's still a better male character than most of the male cast of twilight)
  583. Inosuke Hashibira (Kimetsu no Yaiba)
  584. Giyuu Tomioka (Kimetsu no Yaiba)
  585. Genya Shinazugawa (Kimetsu no Yaiba)
  586. Kyoujuro Rengoku (Kimetsu no Yaiba)
  587. Muzan Kibutsuji (Kimetsu no Yaiba)(Hee-hee'll yee-heet those fahee-hee-ries).
  588. Every Male Demon and Male Demon Slayers in Kimetsu no Yaiba.
  589. Jaune Arc (RWBY)
  590. Lie Ren (RWBY). And his Semblance -- Tranquility -- is close to Bella's 'mental shield', except, you know, cooler and more useful.
  591. Taiyang Xiao Long (RWBY)
  592. Qrow Branwen (RWBY)
  593. James Ironwood (RWBY)
  594. Marrow Amin (RWBY)
  595. Ozpin, in all rebirths (RWBY)
  596. Oscar Pine (RWBY)
  597. Roman Torchwick (RWBY)
  598. Mercury Black (RWBY)
  599. Hazel Reinart (RWBY)
  600. JC Denton (Deus Ex)
  601. John Wick (Because being called the one you send to kill the FUCKING BOOGEYMAN and killing with style is much better than being a vampire yet exhibits the opposite).
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