Esme Cullen is the housewife of the Cullen family. She is Carlisle's wife and a motherly figure to the Cullen kids, since that's all women are good for. Whenever any of the Cullens feel down, she pats their shoulder and tells them it'll be alright. Her power is her ability to love passionately (apparently, Esme's best power is to love and tolerate you to death. Literally.). Yet again, another useless power from the Cullen family.


Look! It's Morticia Addams! (In her sparkling, vegetarian, version)

Becoming a Vampire Edit

No one cares. This part is unimportant. It would just take face time away from Edward anyway!

Esme's Baby Edit

Before she was a vampire, Esme wanted to be a mother, so she had a baby of her very own. Unfortunately, her baby died. So what does she do? Attempt suicide, of course! It isn't like the infant mortality rate was 25% until very recently or anything. And remember, kids, when someone you love dies, suicide is the only option (sarcasm hand).

So what happened to her then? Edit

When Esme's body was found, she still had a heartbeat and was living. No one seemed to notice this, though (apparently the pathetic humans forgot to check for a pulse), so her body was brought directly to the morgue. When Carlisle Cullen found her, he could tell she was still alive. He was instantly attracted to her because they both failed at commiting suicide and because he recognized her from when she was a patient of his when she was sixteen. Because he was lonely and spouseless, he changed her into a vampire just so that she could be his wife (because that's not creepy at all).

Life as a Cullen and Role in Twilight Edit

Right after changing... Edit

After Esme was changed into a Meyerpire, she became Carlisle's wife against her will (because women love being abducted by men!). She apperently loves her speshul son Edward more than she loves her other children (because loving them all equally would totally be a scandal). Years later, they decided they wanted more children, so Carlisle changed other teens and young adults into Meyerpires for this purpose (again, this isn't creepy at all).

It's worth pointing out that vampires from many fictional universes are known to change their brides. It's just when the concept is portrayed by the author as healthy and romantic that the book's underlying message becomes worrisome.

So, why is she here anyway? Edit

Esme's role in the story to be Carlisle's wife, to support her children when they're in bad moods, to welcome Bella into the Cullen family, and to be the doting housewife of the family. That's about it. Not sexist at all, right?

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