Edward V.S Master ChiefEdit

Winner: Master Chief.

Let's look at the stats


Both Master Chief and Edward have been described in their respective books as "moving so fast they all but turned invisible with speed" Result: Tie


Edward can throw cars. Master Chief can throw tanks.

Result: Master Chief


Edward is as hard as a rock. Master Chief has bones made out of TITANIUM, a fucking suit of armour and an ENERGY SHIELD

Result: Master Chief


Edward can read minds. Master Chief can blow Edward's head off with a rocket launcher.

Result: Master Chief.


Edward snarled at the titan in armour. He would smash through his armour with his sparkle strength, and then suck his blood. Edward growled, and pounced. Edward streaked across the field and threw a punch.

Master Chief barely felt the blow. Instead, he fired a shotgun at Edward's head at point blank range. Edward roared in shock and anger. Master Chief swung his shotgun again, this time smashing it into Edward's head. Edward gasped, and fell to the ground groaning Master Chief took a step backwards and switched to his rocket launcher.

The rocket flew through the air, slamming into Edward. Edward was blown into tiny pieces, and those tiny pieces turnned into ashes.

Master Chief stood over a large pile of ashes, crouching and getting up, crouching and getting up, crouching and getting up...etc.

When Master Chief killed Edward

Edward Vs. BarneyEdit

Edward growled at the ridicilous purple being in front of him. His blood smelt wierd, and he had an absurd smile on his face. Edward closed his eyes, think of this twu luv, and then opened them. Barney was gone.

Barney had used his rainbow teleporting skillz to reappear behind Edward. He then grabbed Edward and used his rainbow teleporting skillz to teleport inside a active volcano.

So there. Even a stuffed animal can kick Edward's ass.

Alucard vs. EdwardEdit

Edward's skillz.

1. Mind Reading

2. Superspeed

3. Superstrength.

4. Sparklez

5. The ability to summon a horde of fangirls

Alucard's skillz

  • Immortality (which is connected with how many souls he has absorbed).
  • Regeneration: Alucard's ability to regenerate is considerably greater than any other vampire's, and may be due to the Hellsing family's experimentation. He has regenerated from a pool of blood and from being blown to shreds by gunfire.
  • Superhuman senses.
  • Incredible accuracy: Alucard has been known to hit targets at great range (one kilometer) using handguns while looking the other way.
  • Superhuman strength: Extent is unknown, but Alucard can physically rip humans apart with ease.
  • Superhuman speed: He can move faster than can be seen.
  • Intangibility: The ability to pass through solid objects.
  • Invisibility: He seems to turn invisible for a moment when fighting Incognito in the Gonzo anime.
  • The ability to defy gravity to an uncertain limit. He is also seen leaping impossible distances and can run up walls.
  • Manipulation of shadows into physical form. (Although vampires controlling shadows isn't unheard of, the black-and-white artwork usually used for manga sometimes makes it difficult to distinguish between blood and shadows.)
  • Shape shifting: Alucard can transform himself or parts of himself into bats, insects, snakes, hell hounds, a little girl, an amorphous mass of darkness, and many other forms
  • The ability to control the weather to an unknown limit, as demonstrated by the fog created when he returned to London aboard the H.M.S Eagle.
  • Teleportation.
  • Telekinesis: In the Gonzo anime series, Alucard is able to lift a FREAK chip and was able to load the Jackal and pull its slide mentally. The exact weight of these things is unknown, but Alucard is never seen using telekinesis to move anything heavier than a human being. In the manga, Alucard locks the door of the hotel exit when pursuing a GATE officer, stating that "it won't open" when the officer attempted to escape.
  • Telepathy: In the anime, Alucard can speak telepathically to anyone he chooses; but in the manga, his telepathy is limited to his fledgling.
  • Mind reading: in the Gonzo anime series, Alucard can read the mind of anyone he chooses; but in the manga, he can only read the minds of the people whose souls he has absorbed.
  • Mind Control or Hypnosis (fans sometimes call it the "sex beam" after a remark from Pip).
  • Summoning familiars, the souls of those whose blood he has sucked in a variety of forms that either sprout from his body or swarm about him as an army numbering in the thousands. These familiars can also include animals such as horses and the weapons and abilities that the familiars possessed in life, but Alucard can only use this ability when control art restriction system level zero is released. These souls act as a sort of backup for attacks that could potentially harm Alucard. If hit with such an attack, it destroys the familiars rather than harming Alucard to an irreparable extent.
  • The ability to suck a person's blood and absorb their soul and, consequently, their knowledge and memories. (Example: He learns more about Millennium after absorbing Tubalcain.) He can also absorb blood through his clothes and skin, as he does with Luke Valentine's blood after his hell hound had eaten Luke's body.
  • Hibernation: Alucard is able to survive long periods of time without consuming blood, but is able to fight at a usual level of strength after drinking blood.
  • Apparent immunity or great resistance to the weaknesses most vampires possess. His abilities and health are not in any way compromised by such things as sunlight or silver. In fact, it appears that the only weapons capable of harming him to any real extent are the most holy of Christian artifacts, such as Father Anderson after augmenting his abilities with Helena's Nail.
  • The ability to sense supernatural activity (In Hellsing: The Dawn, Alucard knew the Captain was a werewolf the moment he saw him, and in the OVA, could see the blessings on Father Anderson's bayonets).
  • In addition to his superhuman abilities, Alucard also possess centuries of combat experience. While he usually relies on crushing his opponents with sheer power, he does at times use strategy. When he fought Alhambra, Alucard used shadow duplicates to distract him, allowing Alucard to close the distance between them and deliver the deathblow.

There is no contest whatsoever.

Edward Vs. Izzy/E-ScopeEdit

Edward's skillz:

  • Mind reading
  • Super strength
  • Super speed
  • Sparklezz!1!121!
  • Can summon a group of annoying Twitards

Izzy skillz:

  • Ability to make things explode (BOOM BOOM!)
  • Super speed
  • Insanity
  • Razor-sharp teeth
  • Kung-fu skillz
  • Can jump extremely high
  • Can stay underwater for long periods of time
  • Can lift over 300 pounds and slam it on the ground (super strenght)
  • Basically invincible/ can't feel pain (was able to withstand being electrocuted and poison ivy)

Fight: Edward growls, but Izzy summons up a bomb and blows his head off while he helplessly sparkles.

Result: Izzy pwns Edward, end of story.

Edward vs. YodaEdit

Edward's skillz:

  • Sparkles
  • Mind-reading

Yoda's skillz:

  • A light-saber
  • Perfect reflexes
  • Can pick Edward up and throw him off a bridge WITH HIS MIND.


Edward vs Itachi UchihaEdit

Eddie's skillz:

  • Sparkles
  • Mind-reading

Itachi's Skillz

  • Can make enemy see whatever he wants them to see
  • Can summon unextinguishable flames
  • Can summon gigantic golem

Speed: Tie

Strength: Tie

Fangirls: Deadward wins by a mile

The fightEdit

Itachi narrowed his already extremely narrow eyes. WTF??? He thought. This abdomination SPARKLED. Downright ridicous. Edward pounced, roaring angrily. Itachi dodged out of the way. Edward came to a stop and charged Itachi again.


Edward gasped as his vision changed. He saw Bella-Sue chopped up in tiny pieces, then them burning. Then he saw Bella-Sue chained to a stake, burning.

"NO!" He screamed

Meanwhile, Itachi was busy setting fire to Edward.

Edward VS The Tank Edit

Eddikin's Skills:

  • Mind reading
  • He can lift a car
  • Super speed
  • Super Strength
  • Ability to attract fangirls

The Tank's Skills:

  • Can lift slabs of concrete
  • Super Speed
  • Can knock someone across a room with one punch
  • Can endure grenades.

Speed: Edward

Strength: The Tank

Fangirls: Edward

Fight: Edward noticed a large muscly figure in the horizon, noticing a large slab of concrete coming after him. He attempted to run, almost making it, but the concrete hit him and knocked him into a tree. The figure came closer, roaring and walking on all fours like an ape. It roared loudly and punched Edward, pinning him onto the tree and repeating the punches, soon enough Edward was but messy red paste on a tree.

Result: The tank could finish off Edward with few effort.

Edward versus Keiichi MorisatoEdit

Edward's skills:

  • Mind reading
  • He can lift a car
  • Super speed
  • Super Strength
  • Ability to attract fangirls

Keiichi's skills:

  • Repairing cars, motorcycles and PCs
  • He has a powerful level of willpower, enabling him to defeat the fangirl's criticism

Speed: Edward

Strength: Edward

Fangirls: Edward

'Fight': Edward Cullen tries to attack Keiichi, but Keiichi does a good thing by evading. Edward laughed, "You wimp!" Keiichi then goes with a powerful counterattack toward Edward, with Keiichi beating the sparkles out of Edward so much that Edward cannot retaliate. The fangirls try to attack and distract Keiichi by calling him names and whatnot, but Keiichi's will is so powerful that the fangirls stopped their heckling. Keiichi then throws Edward Cullen with great effort that Edward lands headfirst into a rock.

Result: Keiichi Morisato can defeat Edward, even though he's an ordinary human.

Edward vs Chris HansenEdit

Edwards Powers

  • sparklez
  • super strength
  • super speed
  • summoning a horde of fangirls
  • stalking

Chris Hansens Powers

  • Catching a Predator

Edward walks in Bella's house

Bella : Hi Edward I was thinking about you.

Edward : I was thinking about you too.

Bella : If you don't mind I gotta tidy up.

Edward : kk

Enter Chris Hansen

Chris : Hi, Nice to meet you. Why don't you have a seat?

Edward sits

Chris : What are you doing here?

Edward : I was going to wait for Bella.

Chris : Here are some IMs I read.

SparklyAdonis1908 said : You smell good

MarySue said : thanks

SparklyAdonis1908 said : I would love to suck your blood

Chris pulls a barbie doll out of his jacket

Chris : Show me on the doll where her blood is

Edward : That's it I'm out of here

Edward walks out and cops come out and he runs like hell and runs into oncoming traffic getting ran over breaking his neck dying instantly

Edward vs. TinkerbellEdit

Edwardz skillz:



Tinkerbell's skillz:


fairy dust

The fight

Edward kicks off by reading Tinkerbell's mind. She counteracts by sprinkling fairy dust all over him.

"Oh f***!" says Edward, as he drifts higher and higher into the sky. Tinkerbell:"That was fast!"

Edward vs. The Powderpuff GirlsEdit

The Powderpuff Girls can fly and shoot lazer beams out of their eyes.

No contest.

Edward vs. The Power RangersEdit






Edward vs. ElmoEdit

It's very simple.

Elmo grabs his gun and shoots his sparkly ass to ashes. End.

Edward vs. Casey JonesEdit

Edward's WeaponEdit

Sparkelz uv DUME

Casey's WeaponEdit

The Garbage Truck of OOPS

Edward gets thrown out of the window for stalking a girl and falls in Casey Jones' Trash Compactor

Result : OOPS!

Edward vs. Junior HealyEdit

Junior was on a camping trip with his dad Ben. Little did he know is that He is in the area the cullens live at. He grabs a branch and asks his dad if he can make a stake out of it. He does so. Junior climbs up a tree and uses his slingshot. Aims at Edward playing the Piano and the stake flies riight through Edward's heart

Edward VS. Saren Edit

Speed: Edward can run like winds. Saren can't but he dosen't need to run fast. (Winner: Edward)

Strength: Edward can lift a car, Saren is armed with the finest weapons in the galaxy. (Winner: Saren)

Fangirls: Deadward wins by two miles.

Other: Edward can sparkle, Saren can come back from the dead. (Winner: Saren)

Fight: "Where is Bella?!" Edward asked, snarling at the Turian so carelessly flinging around his plasma pistol. "I put her into a safer place. Where you would not torment her with your abuse." Saren chuckled, Edward walked closer, circling the Turian. "Would I be able to see her, please?" "But of course.." Saren had caught edward off guard, and shot him in the back of the head with his pulse pistol.

Winner: Saren dosen't even need to use the majority of his weapons to kill Edward.

Edward VS. CarrieEdit

Edward's PowersEdit

  • Super Strength
  • Super Speed
  • Super Sparkles
  • Stalking
  • Being good looking

Carrie's PowersEdit

  • Powers of Christianity
  • Telekinesis


Carrie walks down the street covered in Pig Blood and gets attacked by Edward who thought she was bleeding much to his disappointment. He prowls toward Carrie who uses her Telekinesis to throw Edward off of her and to rip his head off


Carrie Wins

Edward vs. Harry PotterEdit

Edward: *sparkles*


Edward: Oh no, not again... *burns up and dies*

Jacob: Oh yeah...


Jacob: D'oh *dies*


harry > voldemort

voldemort > wormtail

wormtail > cedric

cedric = rob pattinson = edward

therefore, logically:

harry > edward

Edward vs. ThomasEdit

Edward and his glitterous glory was walking down the island of sodor and Thomas runs his ass right the fuck over.

Edward vs My Little Cousin's Teddy BearEdit

The bear wins.

Edward vs. Tavish DegrootEdit

Edward in all his sparkly glory was enjoying the fucking searing sun of 2fort, when he walked into a pair of strange spiked balls, and was blasted into messy red paste.

Edward vs. Byakuya kuchikiEdit

speed: flashstep 'nuff said

winner: byakuya

strength: edward can lift a car byakuya doesn't need it

winner: edward

fan girls: edward wins

edward was walking in the woods suddenly a man steps in front of him and says "scatter Senbonzakura" then edward was reduced to a bloody mess

Edward Vs. Raito "Light" Yagami Edit

Edward finally died a not so peaceful death.

*Lesson- don't criticize Kira in public (you will be torn up and burned)*

Edward Vs. BuffyEdit

The Fight

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