Twitard apocalypse survival guide

It's just that simple.

This is usually a technique used by Twihards to defend their precious Ed. Most of them however have no idea what they are talking about. Fan girls have sailed the world looking for reasons that Edward is better than the Texan. When they found nothing, they resorted to making up crap on the spot and polluted the web with it.

WARNING: Reading stupid arguements like these can lead to

  • RAGE (depending on the stupid argument stated previously)
  • Lots of lulz.
  • Silence, or an exclamation of 'WTF'?
  • A sudden urge to throw the fangirl/boy into an active volcano

If you exhibit any of these symptoms, contact your doctor immediately, as damage may have occured to your brain, arteries and kidneys. Chuck Norris is the embodiment of manliness unlike Edward Cullen.

Twitard: ZOMG EDWARD IS SOOOO COOOL!!11=Total Bullshit


  • Edward is a vampire.
  • He is super strong.
  • He is very fast.
  • He can read minds.
  • He can sparkle(hey, it might blind someone, or just make them pass out laughing).

Why they are wrongEdit

  • Chuck Norris can kick ass, whereas Edward Cullen is a sparkly wimp.
  • IF they ever did fight, Norris would roundhouse kick Squiddy in the face. And all Ed would do to defend himself is write a lullaby.
  • Chuck Norris is fucking kicking Edward's Stepheniefucking ass. (Oh yes, he can!)
  • Edward Cullen couldn't read Chuck Norris's mind anyways. (He couldn't read Bella's, meaning he's also very dumb. But still, Bella has NO brain whatsoever, so, to be fair, we can't blame Edweird for that)
  • Chuck Norris isn't old, pale, thin... or dead, for that matter.
  • Chuck Norris.............................................. is Chuck Norris. Enough said.
  • In a fight between Edward and Jacob, Chuck Norris would win.
  • Read these, too!


Chuck Norris kills Edward in .03561 seconds with his pinky finger. Get over it.

But Bruce Lee could do it while Chuck is playing on his Xbox too.

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